My Goal: To have a wonderful year!
Although you can implement change anytime in your life, the clean slate that comes with a new year inspires most of us to reach new heights. The possibilities are simply endless!
In addition to this, you probably spent some R&R time, which rejuvenates and refreshes the mind, leaving one with the mental energy needed to implement change.
Let me, therefore, take a moment to wish all of you a happy New Year. I hope it will be a wonderful year in your life.
Mine is most certainly not the first good wishes that you received. We all wished each other the best, and most of us have a list of New Year’s resolutions that we believe will lead to happiness and success.
2018: A recap
But let’s perhaps take a step back. How was your 2018? Was it the great year you wished for, or did it leave you feeling disappointed? And why?
Was your success caused by some pleasant surprises, or was it because you achieved your goals? And were your failures linked to disasters out of your control, or to your own inability to take the reins and determine the direction of your life?
I am confident that all that is left of most people’s 2018 New Year’s resolutions are feelings of guilt and inadequacy because of what they couldn’t do.
I would like to challenge you to make some time for introspection and to define what it is that you need to make this a wonderful year.
For BabyWombWorld, I have some very exciting plans that I can’t wait to share as they unfold, which I know they will do. This I can say with surety, and let me share why.
What goals will make you happy?
My life changed when I gained deeper insight into setting goals.
“What you get will never make you happy; who you become will make you very happy or very sad.”
– unknown –
What are your goals? Below are a few types of goals which may look familiar:
- I want to lose weight
- I want to work harder in order to get promoted or get the best possible salary increase
- I want to save money each month to spend on our year-end holiday
- I want to go on an overseas trip
And so on and so forth. But as the above quote says, will these things truly make your life that much better? What is most important to you in your life?
Having kids changes one’s perspectives and priorities. Many parents pledge to be better parents to their children. But what does being a better parent even mean?
I personally feel that we already set ourselves up for failure, simply through how we phrase and structure (or perhaps not structure) our goals. A goal is only a moment in time.
We identify something that we would like to have, and make this outcome our goal. Scott Adams, a well-known cartoon artist and the writer of “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big” said the following: “Losers have goals. Winners have systems.”
Replacing your goals with a system
Compared to feelings of want/longing that leads to a moment where we create a goal, a system runs as part of our everyday lives and is the power behind the wheels turning.
Take the simple example of wanting to lose weight. You may set a goal of losing 3kg by the end of January. You realize that in order to achieve this, you have to exercise and eat healthy. So you try to do all the right things, but life interferes on an almost daily basis, and progress is slow. And while the end of the month draws closer; your target weight does not.
You first goal of the year took a nosedive, and you know in your heart the others are going to follow the same downward path. Your belief in your ability to take charge and overcome your problems takes (another) knock, and you feel even less able to deal with your other challenges.
Now on the other hand… what if your goal was to jog 3 days a week for 30 minutes and to swim once a week for 15 minutes. In addition to this, plan to reduce your sugar intake and drink 8 glasses of water each day. This already sounds much more achievable than losing 3kg of weight.
READ MORE: We feel so overwhelmed
How do we design our systems?
Adams says in his book that fundamentally you design ‘systems’ by asking yourself which persistent skills and relationships you can develop, rather than which short-term goals you want to achieve. The former has a potent snowball effect, while the latter is a binary pass/ fail with no consolation prize.
You should think carefully about the above, about how it can change your life.
If you have children you will know that raising them is not only a full-time job but the most important thing that you will ever do.
Our biggest challenge: Time
One of the biggest challenges is to find time to play with your children. Seth Godin says: “What could possibly be more important than your kids? Please don’t play the busy card. If you spend 2 hours a day without an electronic device, looking your kid in the eye, talking to them and solving interesting problems, you will raise a different kid than someone who doesn’t do that.”
Now that could be a goal that you can achieve every day and that will be life changing for you and your children. How many of us spend quality time with our kids every day just talking and listening to what they have to say?
Seth identifies that two most important skills to teach our children as:
- How to lead
- How to solve interesting problems
How much time do you spend with your children, focusing on their problem-solving and leadership skills? Or do you leave that in the hands of your child’s school and some YouTube channels?
My Goals for 2019
As a husband, father, and owner of BabyWombWorld, I have thought long and hard about what will make 2019 wonderful for me. And I agree completely that happiness will stem from becoming the person I want to be.
Simon Sinek calls this the golden circle and encourages people to find answers to some vital questions: “Why do you exist? What purpose do you serve? What do you believe in?”
These things should become the driving force behind the goals you set and the systems you design to achieve them. And if your goals stem from these deep convictions, reaching them will make you far happier than simply aiming for the things that society tells us we need in order to be happy and successful. Perhaps it is time to revisit your goals and New Year’s resolutions and to make sure your compass is showing the right direction.
ALSO READ: The BabyWombWorld Story
My Goals: The final thought
I want to invite you to take some time to read the article below for more amazing insights into this topic. It is based on a study that was done in 1979 to assess how written and planned-for goals determine longer-term outcomes in life. Small habits that we can implement easily can have massive benefits in the long run.
May 2019 truly be a wonderful year, and may you make your dreams come true!